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Behavioral Analysis of a Bully

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It is indisputable that there have been more instances of bullying and cyberbullying in schools in recent years, and these incidents are now considered to be severe public health issues. Not only do traditional and cyberbullying plague Pakistan's higher education institutions, but elementary and secondary schools also face these issues. Policies and measures to manage the consequences of traditional and cyberbullying are rare in the Pakistani setting, despite statistics showing an elevated incidence of bullying and cyber-risky behaviours among youth.

 

Bullying more likely affects women in Pakistan. In Pakistan, a woman's actions are closely watched since she is typically the source of her family's "honour". Such a woman finds suicide to be a convenient way out when she is bullied. According to an article in Dawn, a 16-year-old girl in Karachi killed herself by hanging herself from a ceiling fan after being harassed and mistreated by the owner of the home where she was employed. There are a tonne of additional bullying incidents involving girls that have never been documented.

 

Bullying is not exclusive to any one location, including the internet, schools, colleges, or universities. Bullies are now present everywhere. Dawn published a story in 2005 alleging that a contractor in Hyderabad had harassed bus owners. The contractor was required by law to charge no more than 100 rupees for parking, but he made the owners pay 800 rupees instead. The contractor harassed one of the drivers and broke the windows of his coach because he refused to pay the money owed.  Why bullies bully is the question. It is a result of several societal problems. Family, cultural, and social issues are all relevant. Bullies in our society are typically the product of families who are cold and uncaring towards their kids and that fail to express or communicate their emotions to one another.

 

However, my take varies form the one stated above. I believe that bullies bully because they are insecure themselves andproject those insecurities onto others to make themselves feel better. Projecting insecurities is a coping strategy whereby one person uses the mind of another as a place to store emotions. Projections are therefore a type of uninvited interaction. If this is even a word you can use... You could even call it "false communication," or an unravelling in communication stemming from feelings of guilt, anxiety or hurt. If you fail to address it, it can trap you in a never-ending cycle of reliving the exact same drama, which is almost always caused by childhood traumas that need to be reparented. Like other behaviours, projection is taught. It is the outcome of the impact of our family, surroundings, society as a whole and culture rather than something that appears on its own. Therefore, projection is a trait we frequently inherit from our parents but never fully overcome emotionally when we reach adulthood. It serves as a defensive system, one that aims to deny emotions that our mind deems too harmful for us to manage or that we are unable to cope with.




Let me explain this by an example. We are going to call this little 7-year-old child Shagufta. Her parents are quite forceful and stern with her. They want her to eat less. Her mother discerningly says not to eat too much or she will get fat. Even for someone so young, they have put so much pressure on her. And they show her a great deal of disapproval when she eats a lot even though she is a growing child. Shagufta receives constant criticism and is frequently unfairly penalised for falling short of expectations. She feels guilty and ashamed for not adhering to their expectations.

Now this little girl will grow to be a self-consious, insecure girl because that is what has been feeded into her developing mind since she could barely create her own perception of the world. Now, not only does she aggressively keep herself in check by eating less and less or maybe develop a eating disorder, but she will also project that insecurity onto other. What if she sees a fellow student who is a little overweight, with the lens she borrowed from her parents to see the world, she will see someone who is a failure and naturally unload all the negativity she had directed towards herself on the unknowing fellow.

 

What needs to be done is a rigid approach to break the cycle of trauma. To create your own perception of world and extend the love they never got in the first place. Bullies should look inwardly and find peace and acceptance for themselves first and practice self-love so they can be accepting of everyone else too. Because lets be serious, you do not hurt people without any reason, there is always a reason and most times, it is unresolved negativity.

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12 comentários


Tazeen Fatima
30 de jun. de 2024

I agree with the stance that bullying is a result of some continuing cycle of trauma. However, there could also be another reason behind the nature of a bully, which could be holding an authoritative position or power. Possessing such a position could have made them think they have the right to do or say anything to anyone. For example, students getting bullied by teachers, a shy kid getting bullied by other kids in class, or a bus driver getting bullied by the contractor, all instances show that the bully has an authoritative position. Reconstructing the discourse of these power distribution dynamics and social responsibilities in society can help healing this crack in society.

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25020388
30 de jun. de 2024
Respondendo a

I agree with you that being in an authoritative position may be a reason for bullying, however I think a more important correlation could be that being in an authoritative position can increase the chances of bullying or exacerbate the level of bullying since not everyone with authority tends to be a bully. 

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Rida Salman
Rida Salman
30 de jun. de 2024

This blog really hits home on the complex issue of bullying in Pakistan. A number of reasons for it being so complex - and an issue, include the absence of effective policies and the adverse impacts on women, especially as a result of cultural pressures associated with family honor. You've highlighted the tragic results of unrestrained bullying quite well. I like the fact that you mention how bullying affects not just schools but also other parts of society, as can be seen with the Hyderabadi contractor. It's interesting to analyze bullying as a projection of one's own fears and early traumas and Shagufta's story is a great example of how early familial relationships can influence behavior. When it comes to bullies in school, do you…

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25020388
30 de jun. de 2024
Respondendo a

You have raised an important point. I agree that promoting extracurricular activities can be a great way of reducing and addressing the issue of bullying. For example, it promotes positive interactions, you are often made to work in teams which encourages friendships and healthy dialogue. Participating in extracurriculars also helps develop essential social skills that can reduce the chances of one being bullied. 

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26020447
29 de jun. de 2024

Very well thought! Bullying is not only a problem for a few people; it is a social problem that impacts everyone in various ways, ranging from mild taunting to open hostility. We've normalized practices like body shaming and making insensitive comments, considering them as not harmful or even calling them "cool." But, let's be honest: what appears to be a joke to one person might be quite hurtful to another.

I agree that insecurity, and projecting those insecurities onto others, may promote bullying behavior. It's a coping method, in which some people try to make themselves feel better by putting others down. Bullying, however, is not limited to individual insecurities; it can also result from overuse of power, arrogance, or even…


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25020388
30 de jun. de 2024
Respondendo a

I am glad that the post resonates with you. I absolutely agree with your take on bullying and its solutions. There needs to be a shift in society where such behaviour is not tolerated from an early age. By teaching children to be empathetic and communicating respectfully, an environment can be created where bullying can be eliminated. 


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Amna Shahzad
28 de jun. de 2024

Your behavior analysis on why do bullies bully is highly profound. I do believe that unresolved issues and parental criticism during the development phase result in low self-esteem and confidence in these kids, making them fall victim to bullying others. But the question here arises: why do then adults bully others? Bullying is not just restricted to secondary or middle school, but it can also be seen in the workforce field. Even when you talk about cyberbullying in media, it involves a lot of adult men nearly in their 30s, targetting and harassing women online and threatening to break their family "honor." I am of the opinion that along with unresolved insecurities, there is also a power and control element,…

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25020388
30 de jun. de 2024
Respondendo a

There are many factors that contribute towards adult bullying. Adults may bully in a powerplay where they feel the need to assert dominance or feel superior by belittling others. Moreover, unresolved issues are not something that only children face but adults also develop psychological issues when unresolved issues lead to trauma and suppressed emotions.

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Nimrah
Nimrah
28 de jun. de 2024

Your perspective on bullying as stemming from insecurities and projected negativity is insightful. It highlights the profound impact of early experiences and societal norms on shaping individuals' behaviours, including bullying. Addressing these issues requires a comprehensive approach that includes both individual healing and societal change. By fostering self-acceptance and empathy, we can potentially break the cycle of trauma and promote a more compassionate environment where everyone feels valued and respected. For instance, consider Shagufta, a young girl whose parents constantly criticize her eating habits, instilling in her a deep sense of shame and insecurity. As Shagufta grows older, she internalizes these negative messages, developing low self-esteem and body image issues. In school, she may project these insecurities onto her peers,…

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