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Kabir Singh- Romanticising Toxic Masculinity

Updated: Dec 10, 2022



Bollywood frequently makes a comeback and puts sexism and misogyny in charge. What's worse is that these movies end up becoming huge box office successes, normalising the misogynistic message. An example of this misogyny is in the movie Kabir Singh that I’m sure most of you (if not all) have heard of/seen. I personally love the movie and have seen it at least five times.

The movie revolves around Kabir and Preeti. Preeti is a timid and submissive first year student while Kabir is in his final year of med school. Kabir makes threats against other males not to mess with her and touch her without permission since she "belongs" to someone else. Kabir is very protective and possessive about her, which makes Preeti feel that she is actually his plaything.



Our society often romanticises possessiveness, but it's crucial to understand that this possessiveness leads to obsessive behaviour, which leads to a destructive cycle that is constantly repeated. Toxic conduct is rationalised by the man using his masculinity, leading girls to accept it as the norm.


After her father (Harpal) declines to offer Kabir his daughter's hand in marriage, Kabir insults both Preeti and him. While her father watches from behind bars in shackles, he threatens to marry her against his will. She receives a slap from him, and he gives her six hours to clear her head and choose a partner (him or a man of his father’s choice).

The fact that Kabir Singh is a vindictive misogynist, and a very problematic character is not my issue with this movie. However, there is a need for criticism and a close analysis of the consequences such content may have, as they might have a long-lasting effect on the course of our sociopolitical efforts to change how women are perceived in society.

Kabir's romanticization speaks volumes for itself. Despite some criticism, many people admired his character. Women made posts expressing their desire for a partner like Kabir. Men also made remarks expressing their desire for a lady with Preeti's level of submission. This is an issue because our culture unintentionally encourages toxic masculinity and sexism.Kabir consistently showed Preeti and her family disdain. She continued to go after him even though he stormed out of her house after shouting at her family. Then, in front of her family, he slapped her, yet she ended going back to him which once more, normalises the idea of physical violence in romantic relationships.


Movies like Kabir Singh glorify sexism and patriarchal ideals that our society should not tolerate.

What do you guys think?


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I totally agree with what you have written, Your blog reminds me of several tweets I came across in which women talked about wanting a life partner as possessive as Kabir Singh and those tweets shook me honestly. The fact that watching a film for a few hours can make women want men so controlling and aggressive, made me realize the strength of media. But producing films like Kabir Singh is an abuse of media's power in my opinion. Because such films give a license to toxic men and instills this idea in women's mind that they should tolerate anything and everything under the name of love.

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The fact that instead of tweeting things like 'I would never want a man as possessive as Kabir', girls apparently feel the opposite way. I think the image of toxic men is 'hot' in our society which is something all of us have to work towards to change. There are multiple tweets about how girls only attract toxic men and never nice ones or the fact that they only feel sexual tension with toxic men.

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Personally I loved Kabir Singh. Maybe it was due to my infatuation for Preeti or due to the fact that Kabir Singh was able to go to any length to protect his lover. However, his unhealthy possession for Preeti, his self-destructive behaviour by resorting to drugs, his disrespect towards Preeti's parents and him being physically abusive towards Preeti made me rethink my love for the movie. The show clearly propagated abusive relationships and how men are able to get away with being mentally and physically abusive towards their partners. The show was full of red flags and I am guilty of loving the romantic scenes especially the songs that were produced. I condone Kabir Singh and his actions and think…


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I don't blame you for loving the movie because I love it too! I've honestly seen it multiple times and can watch it again. However, like you mentioned, the movie has a bunch of problematic themes present that the audience does tend to romanticise because their relationship seems so striking.

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Sehla Munir
Dec 10, 2022

I remember watching Kabir Singh and thinking how people can love a movie like this. Our society is progressing, slowly for sure but it is still moving towards a place where these misogynistic and patriarchal views will be disregarded, and people will stand against them. Unfortunately, we did not see this among the viewers of Kabir Singh. I remember the scene where he slapped her and the one thing that came to my mind was why can she not stand against him? She should have slapped him too or at least should have shown her anger towards his attitude, but she just begged him to stay. As much as I hated how vulnerable the lead female was, but it also…

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Yes! This is exactly what I mean as well! It's fine that they wanted to show a toxic relationship between the two where Kabir was an emotional abuser but a better take would be Preeti standing up against it and not letting him have that control over her where he can openly disrespect her and her family yet she stays with him.

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The film also reinforces negative stereotypes about relationships and gender. In contrast to how women are portrayed, men are perceived as entitled and dominating. It also supports the idea that while women are expected to put up with abuse and suffering in the name of love, males are free to express their feelings through anger and violence. Not just that , the film also portrays Kabir as a victim of his own feelings, with the implication that his toxic actions are a result of his great love for Preeti. Kabir's actions are normalised and justified by this romanticization of toxic masculinity and abuse, which also conveys the audience a potentially harmful message of bearing abuse in relationships. The movie's depiction…

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The directors showing that Kabir handled his break up with Preeti is an outrageously harmful way is just another reason for why men feel scared to express their true emotions. Instead of using healthy ways to cope, he went down a spiral of drinking and using drugs, cutting contact with his family and portraying a message of self damage.

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I was also researching on Kabir Singh. What I personally found to be the most troubling about the entire film was the way Kabir's character had so many loopholes and still got away with everything he did. How is it that an alcoholic, an abuser, a dismissive and outrageous person did not have to face any consequences for his actions and was all worthy of a happy ending? Why did he have the right to destroy Preeti's life the way he did in the film? It was so disappointing to see how the creators of this film undermined women and their efforts on working towards building a career. Preeti was a practicing medical student, she should have had more in…

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I personally feel that Preeti also destroyed his life. After she got married, Kabir went down a spiral of drinking and doing drugs. He stopped practicing medicine despite the fact that he was a well known surgeon. When another woman came into his life, he outright disrespected her because she wasn't Preeti. Although Kabir was extreme and had complete control over Preeti's life, Preeti had a lot of control over his life as well. The relationship was just toxic over all and I personally feel like they shouldn't have ended up together in the end.

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