"Kuch KHAAS nahi ho tum"
Updated: Jul 8, 2021
This drama on Hum Tv has been catching attention from viewers not for being like any other "saas-bahu" drama but depicts multiple problematic themes in our society ranging from emotional abuse in marriage to existence of deep seated patriarchy.
The drama starts with how Amar (Ali Rehman) wants to marry Saba (Sanam Baloch) based on how beautiful she is. This the first problematic theme in the drama where beauty is everything on scale that needs to be measured when taking a woman into marriage. Amar is shown as someone who has a dark triad personality (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy). He projects a charming persona of being handsome, educated and likeable but in reality is a self centred person who gains validation throughout the drama by his other and phuppo about how he is too 'Khaas" and a "chand ka tukra". All this pump his ego and already full of himself personality and he takes his wife as someone who is lesser of a human being to him.
It starts with how Amar starts controlling Saba, what to wear, mocking on her natural curly hair and instructing her to make them straight, flirting with other girls in front of her and constantly reminding her how she is lucky to have such a beautiful husband. He constantly says to her "kuch khaas nahi ho tum" and you have manly hands. Saba is broken and starts falling into depression because of this emotional abuse. What is interesting and most closest to reality in this drama is how in our society emotional abuse has this unrecognisable nature and is brushed under the mat by the elders just because the abuser "compensates" for it by buying expensive material gifts for the victim. Saba constantly asks Amar that I need your time and attention and for you to understand me, but for Amar, these things do not hold value and he wants to do everything what "a good husband" is supposed to do that is visible and for which he gets praised for by his patriarchal mother and phuppo. This aspect of the drama is a clear representation of majority of the women in our society who are made to feel as if they are not worthy of respect and love and how they constantly have to accept their husband's dictation or else, they are bad wives and destined to get divorced. The stigma around divorce is also shown in this drama how Pakistani parents are okay with their daughters dying everyday because of abuse but do not want to get them divorced. This concept of "ubb tumhari mayyeiat iss ghar main aye gi" is shown, according to which a daughter is supposed to return to her parent's house only as a dead body.
However, the drama also has a portrayal of a positive male character. Fakhir (Haroon Shahid) is one where he is shown to be emotionally intelligent, sensitive, understanding and loves Saba not for her outer beauty but for her mind and the way she thinks. His character is a continuous reflection of how the right love is supposed to be. His love contrasts sharply with the "so called love" of Amar which is about possession and ownership.
To conclude, this drama is quite an underrated one because many people here actually did not find any element of emotional abuse in it and just found it to be a representation of the adjustment problems between a husband and wife. Problematic patriarchal mindsets, blurred and disturbed ideas of love and a narcissist finessing their way through life at the expense of others are the foundations of this drama.