During the Covid 19 lockdown period, I had the chance, or should I say, misfortune of watching the internationally renowned series "Indian Matchmaking". In case you aren’t familiar with the show, it revolves around an Indian matchmaker Sima Taparia, who travels across the world to introduce her clients to their potential life partners. She does this through an intensive matchmaking process, that although matches clients based on their compatibility, simultaneously promotes harmful double standards.
Throughout this show, I couldn’t help but notice that the women in the show were asked to “adjust” and “compromise”, even if it meant uprooting their entire lives for men.
Although not explicit, there was an implication that the women in the show were expected to move and abandon their careers for their prospective husbands, which the men in question were never suggested to do.
Moreover, in season 3, the first woman clearly stated she preferred long hair on men, yet Sima was persistent on pairing her with a bald man in the name of compromise and “never getting everything you want in life”. But when a man preferred “fair women”, she praised him and didn’t question his choice.
Don’t even get me started on the colorism and casteism in this show. It’s quite alarming that both these forms of discrimination are proudly reinforced and normalized throughout the show. It’s no secret that the tradition of arranged marriage is rooted in the preference and preeminence of upper caste and upper-class South Asians. This is, unfortunately still prevalent in the name of ensuring “compatibility” between people. Sima doesn’t shy away from stating that caste and class are important factors to consider in marriage. She also emphasizes how an ideal girl is “fair- skinned”. Sima promotes arranged marriages and aims to keep the practice alive because it’s traditional and has been used for generations in South Asia. However, it’s worth questioning the legitimacy of keeping a South Asian tradition alive when it’s based on idealization of features that originate from centuries of white people being upheld as the standard of beauty and status. I also found it quite intriguing that the women who were in their 30’s and single were painted in an unflattering light, reinforcing the take that women who are single past their 20’s are “leftovers” and have a hard time finding love and getting married.
All in all, after watching this show it’s very evident that it normalized colorism, casteism and harmful double standards that disproportionately discriminate against women. In a subcontinent where there is enough systemic oppression of marginalized people and minority groups, it’s disappointing that “Indian Matchmaking” has been given a massive platform on Netflix while it perpetuates stereotypes and reinforces harmful and questionable marriage traditions.
