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Whose a womens enemy : the opposite sex or their own ?




Many times one wonders who a womens Real enemy is : their own gender or the opposite sex . If one doesnt go into a broader context but just see their own household dynamics the answer seems pretty obvious. A womens enemy is another women.


We dont see men being jealous of women , scheming against them but a women scheming against each other. Take for example a mother in law and her daughter in law . The mother in law or in some context the daughter in law, will be the one scheming against each other all in the name of the insecurities that hide within her. Why is it that women hold grudges which don’t seem to end for generations.

For instance if a women went through hardship while being a daughter in law why doesn’t she wish to make her life easier, but instead wants the same kind of hardship on her just so she can feel a sense of ease. One then wonders what is about the Pakistani women or Society which does not seem to know How to let go , and how to mind their own business.


Often the malicious rumors being spread Are not being done by a man but by another women who seems to bare a grudge. While observing both sexes I often feel men are more transparent than women. If u interact with a man , it’s Most likely his true nature will be apparent to you in the first few meetings . But we as women seems to know the art behind hiding our true nature . Often what’s displayed on the surface of a women isn’t what her true nature is and one can think of plenty of instances of this scenario. For instance if your college friend finds out you are hiding something important from her and holds a grudge against you for that very reason , she will make sure to malign your name , display your Secrets and want to ruin your life all the while displaying themselves as besties on the social media platforms and university gatherings  . Whereas a man’s friendship with another man is much simpler : if they have some insecurities they would fight with you , take out the anger and then forget . But a women will hold a grudge until her last breath.


After giving this viewpoint a lot of thought I have analyzed one plausible cause of this. As you have often heard the saying “An empty mind is a mind of the devil”. This line seems particularly apt incase of the normal Pakistani housewife whose whole life revolves around her kids. When you donot have any other work to distract you with , gossip, rumors and schemes is all you can devise and if one sees this could be a huge reason of a women being a womens enemy. With men they are so busy managing every other thing that they do it have the time to think of petty issues and make illogical connections and then divulge on it and harbor angry thoughts.

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Thanks for this post, Iman! This post actually prodded me to think about how women projects this trope wherein women are pitied against one another, thereby sparing the men of any responsibility or accountability. The whole conception about how 'its better to be friends with guys than girls because they're drama free' is something I have seen traversing popular discourse at LUMS. I naturally have my reservations about this since: a) it exacerbates stereotypes and paints womanhood in a devious, malicious light and b) it seems to me like one of those patriarchal tropes that coerce women into thinking that female solidarity and communion is 'unappealing'. What are your thoughts on this?

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Iman Aamir
Iman Aamir
06 ago 2022
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I agree aiman that in university the whole guy friend over girlfriends is very popular , however I believe a women needs to have good girlfriends as they are A blessing…sure one sometimes encounters one or two bad apples but not all girls are bad just like not all boys are good. in my opinion one should have a healthy mix of friends and having the same. Sex of friends is extremely important as the bond u share with them is not the same as u share with opposite sex (atleast in our society where one keeps certain reservations with opposite Sex)

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I agree with most parts of the blog, but I think that is because it's a feminine nature to hold grudges till the end, not speak up at the start, or clear out the misunderstandings. But I can't entirely agree with the assertion that this results from an idle mind because many intrigues are played by businesswomen or the women in power. This is done to get better positions, gain promotion, or frame other women in the wrong way. But my question is, do you think this is because of the Pakistani dramas shown? Because such things are happening all around the world. Intensity might be different, but the approach is the same.

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Iman Aamir
Iman Aamir
06 ago 2022
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Hi no I don’t think it’s becuase of the Pakistani dramas .…the dramas are made on real life stories so it’s the real life stories which get to be made into dramas… however The dramas may give some people the idea of such schemes but it’s not entirely due to dramas

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I think this blog highlights a very important trope in media, and one which we see governing the daily life of many individuals. Why are leading ladies supposed to be pitted against each other? Why is it that the vicious cycle of intra-female hatred and bias does not seem to end? The media's greatest power becomes evident then in that case: media is able to influence our biases and give us a sense of how we should go about things. In the context of Pakistani dramas, and other media products like films, this issue becomes increasingly relevant. Why is it that we cannot see largely wholesome, healthy relationship among females in media?


While I do agree with this blogs delineating…


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Iman Aamir
Iman Aamir
03 ago 2022
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Hi i would just like to clarify the idle mind is one of the reason , I do agree that their are several others , I was just putting one view point into perspective , like what could be one reason. Ofcourse we need to look deeper into this issue and analyze more possibilities

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